A private conversation with Mbaye

TALK
TO
MBAYE.

Talk to me about almost anything. I’ll give you my attention and tell you what I honestly think. I’m probably gonna disagree with you.

Not therapy. Not coaching. No guarantee this helps. I’m literally just some guy.

What this is

You pay me $1,000. We talk. That’s it.

You can talk to me about whatever you want. I’ll listen, give you my full attention, and tell you exactly what I think. I’m probably gonna disagree with you.

You are not buying wisdom, credentials, therapy, coaching, or some guaranteed life-changing answer. You are buying my attention and my honesty. Nothing else.

The agreement
01

You can say whatever you want.

Words don’t buy control over my reaction, and you don’t have to protect my feelings.

02

I’m probably gonna disagree with you.

I’m not here to nod at everything you say. If I think you’re wrong, I’m going to tell you. You paid for honesty, not agreement.

03

I might be completely wrong.

I’ll tell you what I honestly think, but honesty does not make me correct. I can misunderstand you, miss something obvious, or give you a terrible opinion.

04

I don’t know you.

Realistically, I won’t know 99% of the people I talk to. That means I have no reason to lie just to protect your opinion of me.

The price
$1K
One private conversation.

That’s literally all.

  • My attention
  • My honesty

There is no scientific reason behind the number. You can probably find someone more qualified for less.

One important rule

I CAN END THE CONVERSATION.

I reserve the right to end any conversation at any time if I don’t want to continue. That includes if you tell me about disturbing things you’ve done, serious harm, or anything I do not want to sit there and listen to. If I end the conversation, your payment will be fully refunded.

Another important rule

YOUR PREFERENCE IS NOT A PROMISE.

About one to five minutes before we start, I’ll text you and ask whether you prefer a regular phone call, FaceTime, or Zoom. I’m asking out of respect. I am not promising to use the format you choose.

I’ll decide what I’m willing and able to offer at that moment. If I can’t offer your preference, I’ll tell you. What I owe you is my attention and honesty—not a particular app or a camera.

If we cannot agree on a format and the conversation does not happen, you will receive a full refund.

I can’t promise this helps you. I can’t even promise you’ll like me.

Why Mbaye?

I’m not a therapist, coach, guru, or expert. I’m literally just a random guy. Most things in this world? I don’t know shit about them. If you expected some unusually smart person, you might be disappointed.

I don’t care if you like me.

I care about people. I care about the human race. But realistically, I won’t know 99% of you, so I don’t give a single fuck whether you like me, my answer, or my honesty. I have nothing to gain from telling you what you want to hear. You’re only buying my attention and honesty.

Questions
Why $1,000?

There is no scientific reason behind the number. It costs $1,000. That’s the answer.

Will talking to you help me?

I genuinely don’t know. Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. I cannot promise insight, progress, friendship, happiness, or any result at all.

Why should I pay you?

I don’t know why you personally should. You probably shouldn’t unless you fully understand that all you’re getting is one random man’s time, attention, and honest opinion.

Will you keep the conversation private?

Discretion matters to me, and I do not treat personal stories as content. But this is not legally privileged confidentiality like you may have with a licensed attorney or therapist.

Can we actually become friends?

Maybe. Real friendship can’t be guaranteed or purchased. But if we genuinely connect, I’m open to staying in each other’s lives beyond the first conversation.

Who should not book?

Anyone seeking professional diagnosis, emergency help, guaranteed outcomes, or someone who will simply validate every opinion. If you may hurt yourself or someone else, contact emergency services or the 988 Lifeline in the U.S.

Before you pay

You probably should not pay me.

If you need therapy, coaching, crisis support, or medical, legal, or financial advice, absolutely do not pay me. Find a qualified professional. Only consider this if you understand you’re paying $1,000 for my attention and honesty. Nothing more.

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